Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
