You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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