i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
