Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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