Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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