Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
