Rock
Scissors
Fuck
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
