butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
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