Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
