Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
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