I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
