No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
