I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I wear drunk well.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
