look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
