just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
