Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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