Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
There r osticjed everywhere
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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