Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
