Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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