Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
