I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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