Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
