wrigley field is MILF paradise
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
