You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
