If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
