So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
