she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
