Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
