You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I am one with the molecules
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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