What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
