What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
