Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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