fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
