Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
