He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
