It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
