he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
