if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
