i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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