I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
