she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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