I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
