Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize