my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm always down for nudity.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
