Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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