I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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