Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
