her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I am one with the molecules
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
