You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
