I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
