This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
