you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
