No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
