whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
