Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
